So you’ve decided to write your wedding vows. You want your words to be something unique, something that’s yours. But the decision to write your own wedding vows isn’t the end of choosing to personalize your words, it’s more the beginning.
1. Tone.
Merriam-Webster defines tone as, “a quality, feeling, or attitude expressed by the words that someone uses in speaking or writing.” Basically, how do you want people to feel about the vows you’ve just spoken? Do you want to convey how serious you are? How much you love your partner? Do you want to add in a joke? You could read a thousand “100 Tips to Writing Your Vows” articles. And at the end, when the notecards are all used up, this is what they are trying to say. Once you (and preferably your partner) decide on the tone of your wedding vows, the rest will become easier. Much like getting married, the choice to do so once you know what you want, is an easy one.
2. Traditional.
Yes, believe it or not, even writing personalized wedding vows has conventional wisdom. In this format, keep the vows to two minutes or under, avoid clichés (You are the light in my darkest night!) and beware of tempting pitfalls like inside jokes, and pet names. Utilize this tone, if you want to express your love in your own words, but don’t want to sacrifice the solemnness of the ceremony.
3. Non-traditional.
And at this point you may be thinking, “inside jokes? That’s part of what makes my relationship special and unique to my partner and me!” If that’s the case, you are well on your way to throwing conventional wisdom out of the same window you threw your ex’s Xbox out of, and there is nothing wrong with that. Too long? It’s your wedding. They’ll sit through “War and Peace,” if they have to. Cliché? Bring on the wind beneath your wings. Use this tone, if you want to your vows to be more modern and have some humor.
