So you’re ordained. First off, congrats Even if it was online, chances are, your friends asked for time and effort out of your life, and you delivered..
Just so we get this out of the way: step one is practice. Be prepared to be focused and practice daily. If you’re not ready, or you’re nervous, that tension will feed itself around the ceremony. We’re sorry, but we’re not going to lie you. Being the officiant is a big responsibility. It’s usually cute for the bride to stammer her words her and there, or the groom to look nervous. Perhaps relatives can be heard crying somewhere in the audience. But the officiant is the emotional calm in that storm. They remind everyone that this has been done before, and as nerve-wracking as everything is, it’s still a joyous celebration.
So practice. It doesn’t matter if it’s scripture, the words of Socrates or vows the couple wrote themselves. You need to know them.
Now to get you ready for opening night:
- At least two months ahead of time, contact the county clerk again and make sure everything is in order. They may require additional verification or identification before they provide you with the marriage license.
- Now that that’s out the way –go back to practicing.
- As the wedding draws near, all parties should have the same script. If you are writing your own material. Send it to them for approval –or if they trust you and want to be surprised –at least send it to a mutual friend (like the best man or maid of honor) who has a clear understanding of what they would want and what’s acceptable for both families.
- On wedding day, it’s time to perform the ceremony. If you’re worried about memorizing all of the text, keep a hand-out with you –just as ministers keep the scriptures open when they perform.
- Just to make sure, did we mention practice?
- If you’re going to keep text on you, put it in an aesthetically pleasing journal. No one was ever inspired by an officiant with a clipboard.
- Do not use it as an excuse to just read the text. Seriously, just, don’t do that. People can tell the difference between needing to glance down at times to keep track and going on as if you’re reading it for the first time.
- Once the ceremony is finished. Sign the marriage license and have the couple sign it as well. You may require witness signatures as well.
- Once everyone is signed, it’s up to you to submit the license to the local courthouse. Do.Not.Wait.On.This. it’s not uncommon for courts to declare a marriage invalid if they receive the license more than thirty days after the wedding.
- We keep forgetting: was practice mentioned? So now all that’s taken care of. We have one last thing to tell you: Being a wedding officiant is an amazing experience. Knowing you led a ceremony as old as history itself and personally oversaw what likely was the biggest day of peoples’ lives is a feeling that cannot truly be encapsulated in words. And if people end up asking you to perform more weddings, it only gets more rewarding from there.
- Is it a lot of work? Well, I think we made that part clear. But trust us, it’s worth it.
