Officiating a wedding for the first time is nerve-racking to say the least. Unless you’re a country clerk or a religious minister, then it’s highly likely you’ve had no training whatsoever. I can say from personal experience that it’s a bit flooring. Suddenly it’s time to get ordained and start preparing. No pressure, right?
Like anything, all it takes is time and practice. But first things first, you need to get ordained,
These days, it seems like anyone who took an elective in Theology can get a certificate of Ordination. But what’s truly important is that whatever religion or personal philosophy that you practice, make sure that it falls in line with what the couple want. As long as the vows or scripture doesn’t offend you, it’s the couples’ show. Make no mistake: you serve at their pleasure. Perhaps the biggest pit fall an inexperienced officiant can fall onto is thinking that the wedding is about them.
- Get your ordination as early as possible. It can take time for the county clerk to officially recognize your ordination. You don’t want to be under the gun making sure you can legally marry your friends.
- The easiest and most recognizable place to get ordained is the Universal Life Church. The ULC is dedicated to celebrating the beauty of marriage no matter the background of the applicant.
- Print out a copy of your certificate of ordination (or better, have an official one mailed to you) and make copies.
- Contact the county clerk. Both to share your credentials and to find out if there is anything else they will need in order to provide you with a marriage license. NOTE: the requirements for accepting Ordination changes state to state and county to county. For ease here is a list of clerks in Essex county along with a brief overview of NJ marriage laws.
- Discuss the vows as soon as possible. In a typical ceremony, the minister will have the scripture as a playbook. If your friends are asking you to become ordained, then chances are this is not the case. Hash out if you will recite their vows, of if they plan on reciting their own.
- Hash out any and all traditions ahead of time as well. Such as literally tying the knot, and the unity candle.
The sooner all of this is taken care of, the sooner you can get to practicing these traditions (preferably daily). The final stages of preparation and conducting the ceremony will be covered in Part II.
